When I started thinking about writing something on how to enjoy motherhood, it felt silly, but for me and a lot of the mothers around me there are many days we may not be enjoying it–we may just be trying to survive. I am not saying you don’t love your kids, or you don’t love being a mom… of course you do! In the last few months, I have worked hard to start enjoying the messy, mundane, day-to-day “chores” of being a mom. It came down to getting rid of expectations I had set and enjoying the small moments.
Dropping the Expectations and Comparisons
For me I think I “knew” what kind of mom I was going to be before I was even pregnant. I was going to be fun, with a clean house and well-dressed kids. I know–hold the laughing, but it’s true! I built up this expectation early on and until I let it go, I was never going to be the mom I thought I should be. I wasn’t just comparing myself now to the mom I thought I would be. I was comparing my mothering to snippets of what I saw of others around me and on social media.
I have found so much positive from social media, but it is easy to get stuck in the rut of watching others and comparing. We are constantly reminded that Instagram is just a highlight of someone’s life, and many people won’t be sharing the parts of their day that are rough. I choose to curate my social media to show me things that make me feel happy and inspired.
Enjoying the Imperfect Moments
There was recently a trend on social media where you showed a few seconds of things you did throughout the day and compiled it all to one video. In doing this you could see the little moments that all together showed you that each day was a bit magical. Looking at videos I could make from the day I could see that good overshadowed the hard. Did I enjoy that my toddler had a tantrum? Obviously not, but I did enjoy the snuggles I got afterward. ABSOLUTELY!
Watching the days back in the videos, you can see that the little moments were actually the big ones. The important parts of motherhood are there, each day, but if I focus on the bad things and all the things I feel like I do wrong, the day just goes by. I don’t want to miss the little moments because I’m busy trying to make “perfect” moments.
“Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.” – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
I also think with Mother’s Day having just happened, or any day, it’s always important to show yourself some love and self care! I like to remember that I can not give from a glass that is empty, and I need to have time to just be me! Going to dinner with girlfriends, getting a pedicure, or maybe just buy yourself something you really want! We are all in this together, lets keep a good perspective and enjoying the ride that is motherhood!